50 Important things from 2008

Here it is, in it's fourth year, the list of important things:

50 important things from 2008.  



 

1.  My Friends.

2.  Dancing.

3.   Making it through another year of teaching

4.   Chicago

5.  My niece turning two.

6.  Learning that it does get easier with time.

7.  Finding out that when your heart breaks you will make it….. (Yes a repeat from last year and the year before but I think that maybe this will be a lesson I have to learn over and over and over and over and over….)


8.  Matt Walters.

9.  Joel Spencer. 

10.  New roommates, new apartments, new country, new life, new beginning.

11.  St. Patrick’s Day.

12.  Saying the hardest goodbye I’ve ever had to.

13.  Salsa dancing with Luis.

14.  Realizing love.

15.  Chalwa at Wild Wings


16.  Learning Spanish

17.  Finding friends even when you think you can’t.

18.  Learning and learning and learning who I am.

19.  Days that I wake up with only my dance shoes on.

20.  Losing the person I love to dance with.

21.  Satellite Crash Down Parties, glow sticks, and blue face paint.

22.  Lindsay Scarborough. 

23.  Jonathan Scales and his steel pan of greatness.


24.  Saying goodbye to students that I love.

25. Dancing in the Drum Circle.

26.  Going away Parties.

27.  Ed Woods.

28.  Photo Shoots in downtown Asheville.

29.  Writing poetry.

30. Painting.

31.  Finding Matt again, after I thought I had lost him.

32.  Highlights and I am Legend


33.  Rachel Harris Scales.  Because she made me laugh…. A lot.

34. Christmas Caroling at the Director’s House


35.  Seeing my friends again after four months.

36.  Realizing that sometimes friendships just end, for no reason.

37.  Panama.

38.  Family

39.  Cinco de Mayo.

40.  Mike and Rachel’s wedding, new friends, and fun times in Charleston!

41.  Poetry readings, Melodicas, and the Flat Iron

42.  Leaving a job, friends, a city, and a life that I loved.

43.  Distance.  Thousands of miles of it.

44.  Finding my own strength.

45.   Panamanian Tipica Dancing.

46.  Believing even when it’s hard.

47.  Giant Silver Beans and a moment that felt like home.

48.  Barak Obama

49.  Seeing hope in someone else.

50.  Ending 2008 with the belief that “Perhaps 2009” is the year for us.

We wish you a Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, and all that other business too!!

The countdown has begun:  Only 6 days until I arrive in the US!!  I woke up this morning more ready for NC and cold weather and friends and family than I had expected to be!!!  Last night we had a small Christmas party at my friend John's house.  It was filled with turkey, Christmas lights, eggnog, and caroling.  We stood around together, sang some songs, and then on an impromptu note, drove to the Director's house and the Elementary principal's house and sang to them.  It was almost like being back at home except that we were sweating our bums off!!  It was a good reminder of how you can find friends anywhere if you just try.......  So to further celebrate a Panamanian Christmas, here we are:  

It's a Panamanian Christmas

We Wish You a Panamanian Christmas....

And thus begins the Christmas season.  So as I am sure you can imagine it is super hard to get in that Christmas Spirit when it's 90 degrees outside and every one speaks spanish.  One night last week Jodie and I were walking to our favorite Lebonese restaurant.  On our way is a lovely park and as we passed on this night there was una fiesta grande.  There were singers, dancers, a drag queen, the coca cola bear, light up santa hats, and street meat.  If there is anything that can put a little yule-in-your-tide it is street meat and light up santa hats.....  You think that that was it, oh no, look at the awesome..... well I'm not sure what they are, but they were awesome.

As if it weren't Christmas enough...... this is what I got to do this weekend.......

I just love a hot sunny day at the beach at Christmas.

And lastly I think penguins, in the mall, with santa hats really just says it all.

Mes de la Patria and a Happy Thanksgiving too....

This past week was absolutely insane.  I had a friend visiting from NC, which was great.  It's nice to have someone experience this here, it makes it more real having someone from my other life know this.  As nice as it was having her here, the weather was NOT nice.  This was the worst weather since I've been here.  It rained for almost one week solid, seriously.  Between work and the weather our plans were seriously hampered, but I still had fun.  :)  This week at school we had the big Mes de la Patria celebrations.  It was so much fun and really interesting.  I learned a Panamanian Tipica dance (like folk dancing) and performed it for all of the kids.

Pretty much the kids were just amazed that I was a "gringa".  I keep telling them I am Panamanian but they don't believe me, can't figure out why.  I got to see my kids dance, a panamanian marching band, hear some really good music, and just in general have fun.

I went to visit an art exhibition that a friend of mine was in and reconnected with arts community that I've missed so much.

After Mes de la Patria I celebrated my first thanksgiving without my family.  What could have been a depressing day turned out as a good one.  We had a few friends over and enjoyed each other's company and dinner with a slightly Panamanian twist...

Instead of turkey (because, quite honestly, no one wanted to cook it) we had chicken lovingly prepared by the Chicken King of Brisas, patacones, mashed potatoes, spinach, mac and cheese, apple and pumpkin pie, a pinapple dish, biscuits, and brownies.....  :)  It was nice to have everyone over and celebrate.  I was thankful to have Lindsay here and to finally be settling in here a bit.  There are still hard moments but I am finding a rhythm.  I am thankful for a good job and the learning experience of a lifetime.  I am thankful for my family for making me who I am because otherwise I wouldn't be here, able to do this.  I am thankful for friends, old and new.  And mostly, this week, I have been thankful for the insight that only time can bring.

All in all, a good week.  Only three more until I am in the States again and can see all the people I love.  Happy Thanksgiving!!

Nunca Olvido, Nunca deje ir.

Panama, is well, still Panama.  It's still hot but now, in the rainy season, it rains..... everyday.  It's ok though, it doesn't seem as hot afterwards.  I am still going to dance class with my love-crush dance teacher Luis.  I am not sure he's told his wife and kids he's in love with me yet, but don't worry, it's only time.....  :)

(Ok, in case you guys didn't get that, I am kidding, I am not ACTUALLY in love with my teacher, nor would I EVER go after a married man.)

Seriously.  School is maintaining the same level of mediocrity that it has since I began.  I am still not in my classroom.  They keep saying "the end of the month" thinking I will forget, and well, honestly I do sometimes then it comes rushing back to me and I get irritated all over again.  The kids are finally starting to grow on me.  I had a kid today, a little korean boy who has not cracked a smile at me or spoken to me or laughed or sang or anything at all, he all of a sudden decided to sing AND smile AND laugh at me.  (Yes I mean at me, but hey I'll take it.)  That was a good thing. 

Also, and get ready to be excited..... I AM LEGAL!!!  I have my visa, after my nine millionth visit to immigration.  I can finally, actually BE todos panamanios.  (See above picture.)

Don't worry friends, as the title states: I never forget, I never let go.  Just because I am now Panamanian it doesn't mean I'll forget you.

Really.  I mean it.  

 

Sometime all you need is a vacation

It's been a lovely week since I have returned.  I think all that I needed was a vacation from Panama.  I am happier (noticeable to all), I am sleeping better, I am driving better (I drove home today without freaking out!!!), and I am in general just more relaxed.  I like Panama a little more and don't feel as exasperated.  

Yay for happiness.  :)

Click your heels together and repeat after me......

....There's no place like home.

So.  Happy Fiesta de Patria.  And Happy Week Off of School.   To celebrate independence for Panama, I liberated myself from the country for a week.  I flew home to colder climates and family and friends.  The flight in, coming into Greensboro I have never been happier to see ol' NC.  The leaves were beautiful and so were the people.  I spent my week trekking up and down the mountain to take part in both of my lives.  I got to dance, I got to visit, I got to laugh, I got to shop, and most importantly I got to remember who I am.  My friends have an excellent way of showing me who I am.... slightly neurotic, time obsessed, and sometimes crazy but also sure of who I am.  I am hoping this self assurance will carry over into Panamanian life for me.  

A few pictures of the week.   A wedding, friends, and my totally "panamanian" family.  Enjoy!

  

Act Your Age...

So.  I think that I've decided no matter who you are some people will always complain about you.  I've spent the past three months here helping out and being as nice as I possibly can to a fellow american who is having a hard time adjusting.  I genuinely like her, go to dinner with her, help her out at home, help her out at school, call her, everything.  And do you know what I hear today?  That because I don't invite her every time I go do something she thinks I am rude and mean.  This is even though I invite her to the beach, I invite her parties we have, I invite her over to hang out..... she is always busy or stressed or whatever and can't manage to get out.  

Here's my advice, if she's willing to complain about me to everyone else, then she needs to act her age and tell me all about it. 

Other than becoming her personal driver and moving in with her, I'm not sure I can do much more for her.  It's frustrating to know that it doesn't matter what I do, it won't be enough for her.  It makes me not want to help.

It's Panama....

Yet again, the inevitable excuse.... "It's Panama"  It is used to explain away all matter of sins here.  Incompetence, laziness, unfaithfulness.... all of it.  I have decided in the spirit of Panama I am going to start saying "I'm a blond" every time I do or say something stupid.  And then that way I never have to explain myself.  Or maybe every time I do something wrong here I'll say "I'm a gringa" and see if people just let me get away with it.  Well, whatever, I guess it's just Panama.

This weekend was very stressful, filled with hours of swimming in the ocean and laying on the beach.  I'm not sure how I can make it here, it's a hard life.  Even if every other aspect of this place is a bust at least I am getting a tan.... right?

Really, though, this is a good place for me to be.  I was so sure of who I was back home, I thought I knew but I got here and realized that even if I did know who I was I wasn't 100 percent sure.  I am letting people who don't know themselves and who don't care to know themselves pull me into an interesting place.  It's like their uncertainty is making me uncertain.  It's a good test.  Can I be myself here?  Can I live my life despite the scrambling of others?

We'll see.......

On an unrelated note:  This time, one week from now, I will be back on the "mainland" and loving every minute of it.  :)

Costa Rica, Shmosta Rica

Another Monday, another blog.  I returned from my conference in Costa Rica on Friday.  It was a great conference, I got to meet other music teachers in Central America, which is nice because they are my closest colleagues.  I spoke a lot with people about starting a band program which is what they are hoping to do here at ISP.  As for seeing Costa Rica..... I didn't.  It was SUPER rainy and cold and I was in meetings the WHOLE time.  I saw just a bit of Escazu when I went to see a school there, but nothing else.  I will say, however, the roads are better AND so are the drivers.  Plus it's not so pooping hot all the time.   On Saturday  Jodie and I went to the beach for a while, basked in the sun, enjoyed the waves.  Sunday we spent being super lazy and seeing an awful excuse for a band.  4 Gringos playing for an all american audience that can dance.... awful.

On an unrelated note:  I will be in NC in to weeks.  I almost can't contain myself.

Darlin' Do Not Fear

After a really long week last week things, again, are settling.  I remember moving to Asheville, which is only a few hours from where I grew up, and feeling the same way I feel now.  Actually I felt worse.  Because now I go home to roommates and I have plans on the weekends and I actually go out.  In Asheville I had no one.  I did nothing, so although it's a foreign country, I am doing ok.  There are moments I want to stand in a crowd of Panamanians and scream "I HATE PANAMA"  ok well really to make an impact it would need to be "YO ODIO PANAMA"  but you get the point.  Or I want to scream " 'It's Panama'  is not an acceptable excuse as to why things don't work or why people are rude....."  (I can't translate that into Spanish....)   HOWEVER, things are getting better.  I will, hopefully, be in my permanent classroom in around a month, I have been given a budget to order new furniture, and they have a piano on the way for me.  I am leaving this afternoon for Costa Rica for a conference and a much needed vacation from my students.  THEN it's only two weeks until I am home.   Exciting stuff.

So, all in all.  Things are getting better, still.

Happy Birthday to Me

Last week was the Birthday celebration.  Not as big and exciting as others but good none the less.  I had dinner with my friends on Tuesday night and on Friday we went to the beach and my friend Monique had organized a great weekend.  We just relaxed and enjoyed the day.  Yesterday I finally got my car.  I drove around a bit, still trying to learn the stick shift, so I am only practicing in light traffic.  It is the first car I've bought all on my own.  I am proud of myself!

A Love Letter to Panama....

Dear Panama,

I was wondering, if you had the time, maybe you could GET IT TOGETHER.  I don't really understand why everything I do here must take hours, days, and weeks.  Let me give you some examples of areas that need improvement.  

1.  Getting a social security ID card: 3 Hours.

2.  A Yellow Fever vaccination: 5 Hours.

3.  Transferring the registration of a car (AFTER you have all the paperwork): 2 Days

4.  Getting Cable:  Indefinate period of time.

5.  Delivering furniture: 3 Weeks.

6.  Catching a taxi in the afternoon:  1 Hour.

7.  Withdrawing money from the bank: 1 Hour.

These are just a few areas I feel need some work.  If you and I are going to make, and believe me I'm in this for the long haul, you really have to change.  Otherwise, I may have to break up with you or in the very least become the crazy girlfriend.  

Thanks.

Kari

Two Steps Forward and One Step Back

..... It's how life goes, right?  Progress and failure, just to keep us in check.  Fate sure does like to kick us in the butt.  I was cruising along here, getting the hang of it, feeling like I might fit in after all.  And then not so much.  School became overwhelming in about a day with outrageous expectations.  Home became lame again and I thought once to often about home.  Now, whose to say that tomorrow won't be grand again.  I just hate the ups and downs.

This weekend I am supposed to go with a student and their family to their private island.  We'll see.  Could be just what I need. 

Here I go again, moving forward.

Somewhere to hang my hat.

I finally moved into a temporary classroom on Wednesday this week.  It's nice to not push a cart around all day.  The room is huge, so we have lots of room to run around and make noise.  I am a little sad that I won't see people as much, I was making friends that way, especially with the Dolphins (the support staff).  In celebration of finishing this phase of the move, Wendy my principal, threw a small gathering at her house.  It was nice to socialize together outside of school and the director, office staff, and dolphins came as well.  My lack of spanish is beginning to annoy me.  Speaking with anyone who doesn't speak english takes a long time and they are mostly frustrated with me.  I really must find a tutor.

I am pretty sure that I will be buying a car here in a few weeks.  It's a two door 2002 Yaris.  And.... it's a manual.  So I will have to learn to drive it.  But, it will be a good story later.

Reasons why I'll never be the same after living in Panama....

1.  People actually bag your groceries for you, follow you to your car, load them, and then open the door for you.

2.  I have a maid who: washes my clothes, folds them, makes my bed, washes my dishes, mops my floor and generally puts everything away that I can't be bothered with.

3.  You don't pump your own gas.  Ever.  At all.

4.  A taxi across town costs 2 dollars.

5.  I can get a manicure and pedicure for under 20 dollars.

6.  I bought a 3 dollar shirt. 

7.  My doorman unloads my groceries/packages.

8.  A six pack of beer cost 2.50.

9.  There aren't cover charges when you go out.

10.  Some man is always willing to buy me a beer.

11.  I can go out and actually afford the offer I always make:  To buy everyone a drink.

12.  There's a bus that drives around town with loud music, strobe lights, and all the alcohol your poor little body can take.

13.  In December, I'll be on the beach.

There's the Sun.... I've missed you.

So this week is proving to be better than the others.  We started auditions for "The Sound of Music" and despite some bumps, I think it will be fun.  It may give my roommate, Simon and I a chance to get to know each other better.  I was told this week that I most likely will be in a temporary classroom by next week.  Not the BEST outcome but better than a cart, right?  I drove some other cars this week, nothing yet, but I am proud of myself for doing it alone.  I finally got caught up on a little email which was great.  AND today they told me I'll be going to Costa Rica for 5 days for professional development!!!  HOW COOL!  And despite being nervous about the (in a whisper) big 25th birthday that is looming, my friend Monique wants to plan something.... which will be the first b-day that I haven't planned for myself since High School.  I am glad for that.  Now all I'm waiting for is that Panamanian hunk that I need for a "dance partner"  :)  So today, for the first time since I've been here I am excited.  Just takes time.  

Honking

Yesterday I spent the day car shopping with my friends Eric and Fancisco.  I finally got to drive in the city.  I was really concerned that I wouldn't be able to but I just jumped right in and I was fine.  I even honked my horn at some jerk.  Here in Panama honking your horn is like another language.  It's cracks me up, however I can see how it can be fun.  The car I drove yesterday was a dump but I am driving one tomorrow that I think will be nice.  It's a bit more than I want to pay, but we'll see.  Having a car will give me back the freedom I need.

Panama Viejo

Jodie and I took our day off to go explore a little.  We went to visit Panama Viejo, the city that was burnt down my pirates.  It was a perfect day to go because it wasn't oppressively hot.  We'll have to go back one day when someone can take us on a tour.  

After this we went to take a salsa lesson.  I had a great time, danced alot, made some friends.  It was nice to finally do something I'm good at.  

Tonight we are celebrating my friend Eric's birthday, so we are having a small gathering at my apartment and then heading out.  You know me, I love birthdays!

Stopping Traffic

Protestors early in the morning.  Stopping traffic.

Protest Time

So the big news this afternoon:  NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!  There is supposed to be a nation-wide protest tomorrow so no school for us!

Professional Development....

Today I got an email from the curriculum coordinator about professional development opportunities and would I be interested..... SO of course I am thinking.... "Sure. I LOVE meetings." Except, IT'S IN COSTA RICA!!!!!! Yeah, and they have music specific sessions! I applied. I'm hoping I am approved!

This wouldn't be so exciting in NC. :)

She's Only Happy in the Sun

Somehow, perhaps because of my need to leave this godforsaken city, I have been coerced into camping at the beach tonight.  Armed with only a tent, a sheet, a pillow, and my bathing suit I plan to swim this evening and sun all day tomorrow....  I suppose we will see how that goes for me.  There is, however, a hotel right by where we are camping so I suppose if I just can't take it, that's where I'll be.  :)

I'm hoping the ocean and the sun can wash off the funk that the city has injected into me. 

No Car=No Fun

Today, despite having an awful day at school yesterday, an awful day at home, and waking up in an awful mood this morning I was hopeful for the day.  I finally received a desk at school to do my work and I was going dancing tonight.  I haven't REALLY been dancing since I've been here and this was a class with really good dancers.  The class was to begin at 6.  Jodie and I hit the street corner at 5:15 to get a taxi to a location only 5 minutes (by car) from our apartment.  At 6:30 we walked back into the apartment.  Having been in two taxis, paid three dollars and having only made it 4 blocks away.  I hate taxis.  They won't pick up a white girl.  Then traffic is INSANE between the hours of, oh 4 and 8.  So, that means NO LIFE FOR ME seeing as I don't get home until 4:30.  All I wanted was to dance.  My personal life is non existent here and my job isn't great right now.....  I wanted to do one thing I like.  Just one.  Not a lot to ask.  I just need a car.  But I can't afford one.  Because I thought, Hey living in a city this big means I don't have to have a car....   I was wrong.

 I.  Hate.  Panama.  Today.

My Classroom

I know you've all been dying to see this.  Well here it is, my classroom.

Jealous, aren't you?