It's Panama....

Yet again, the inevitable excuse.... "It's Panama"  It is used to explain away all matter of sins here.  Incompetence, laziness, unfaithfulness.... all of it.  I have decided in the spirit of Panama I am going to start saying "I'm a blond" every time I do or say something stupid.  And then that way I never have to explain myself.  Or maybe every time I do something wrong here I'll say "I'm a gringa" and see if people just let me get away with it.  Well, whatever, I guess it's just Panama.

This weekend was very stressful, filled with hours of swimming in the ocean and laying on the beach.  I'm not sure how I can make it here, it's a hard life.  Even if every other aspect of this place is a bust at least I am getting a tan.... right?

Really, though, this is a good place for me to be.  I was so sure of who I was back home, I thought I knew but I got here and realized that even if I did know who I was I wasn't 100 percent sure.  I am letting people who don't know themselves and who don't care to know themselves pull me into an interesting place.  It's like their uncertainty is making me uncertain.  It's a good test.  Can I be myself here?  Can I live my life despite the scrambling of others?

We'll see.......

On an unrelated note:  This time, one week from now, I will be back on the "mainland" and loving every minute of it.  :)

Costa Rica, Shmosta Rica

Another Monday, another blog.  I returned from my conference in Costa Rica on Friday.  It was a great conference, I got to meet other music teachers in Central America, which is nice because they are my closest colleagues.  I spoke a lot with people about starting a band program which is what they are hoping to do here at ISP.  As for seeing Costa Rica..... I didn't.  It was SUPER rainy and cold and I was in meetings the WHOLE time.  I saw just a bit of Escazu when I went to see a school there, but nothing else.  I will say, however, the roads are better AND so are the drivers.  Plus it's not so pooping hot all the time.   On Saturday  Jodie and I went to the beach for a while, basked in the sun, enjoyed the waves.  Sunday we spent being super lazy and seeing an awful excuse for a band.  4 Gringos playing for an all american audience that can dance.... awful.

On an unrelated note:  I will be in NC in to weeks.  I almost can't contain myself.

Darlin' Do Not Fear

After a really long week last week things, again, are settling.  I remember moving to Asheville, which is only a few hours from where I grew up, and feeling the same way I feel now.  Actually I felt worse.  Because now I go home to roommates and I have plans on the weekends and I actually go out.  In Asheville I had no one.  I did nothing, so although it's a foreign country, I am doing ok.  There are moments I want to stand in a crowd of Panamanians and scream "I HATE PANAMA"  ok well really to make an impact it would need to be "YO ODIO PANAMA"  but you get the point.  Or I want to scream " 'It's Panama'  is not an acceptable excuse as to why things don't work or why people are rude....."  (I can't translate that into Spanish....)   HOWEVER, things are getting better.  I will, hopefully, be in my permanent classroom in around a month, I have been given a budget to order new furniture, and they have a piano on the way for me.  I am leaving this afternoon for Costa Rica for a conference and a much needed vacation from my students.  THEN it's only two weeks until I am home.   Exciting stuff.

So, all in all.  Things are getting better, still.

Happy Birthday to Me

Last week was the Birthday celebration.  Not as big and exciting as others but good none the less.  I had dinner with my friends on Tuesday night and on Friday we went to the beach and my friend Monique had organized a great weekend.  We just relaxed and enjoyed the day.  Yesterday I finally got my car.  I drove around a bit, still trying to learn the stick shift, so I am only practicing in light traffic.  It is the first car I've bought all on my own.  I am proud of myself!

A Love Letter to Panama....

Dear Panama,

I was wondering, if you had the time, maybe you could GET IT TOGETHER.  I don't really understand why everything I do here must take hours, days, and weeks.  Let me give you some examples of areas that need improvement.  

1.  Getting a social security ID card: 3 Hours.

2.  A Yellow Fever vaccination: 5 Hours.

3.  Transferring the registration of a car (AFTER you have all the paperwork): 2 Days

4.  Getting Cable:  Indefinate period of time.

5.  Delivering furniture: 3 Weeks.

6.  Catching a taxi in the afternoon:  1 Hour.

7.  Withdrawing money from the bank: 1 Hour.

These are just a few areas I feel need some work.  If you and I are going to make, and believe me I'm in this for the long haul, you really have to change.  Otherwise, I may have to break up with you or in the very least become the crazy girlfriend.  

Thanks.

Kari

Two Steps Forward and One Step Back

..... It's how life goes, right?  Progress and failure, just to keep us in check.  Fate sure does like to kick us in the butt.  I was cruising along here, getting the hang of it, feeling like I might fit in after all.  And then not so much.  School became overwhelming in about a day with outrageous expectations.  Home became lame again and I thought once to often about home.  Now, whose to say that tomorrow won't be grand again.  I just hate the ups and downs.

This weekend I am supposed to go with a student and their family to their private island.  We'll see.  Could be just what I need. 

Here I go again, moving forward.

Somewhere to hang my hat.

I finally moved into a temporary classroom on Wednesday this week.  It's nice to not push a cart around all day.  The room is huge, so we have lots of room to run around and make noise.  I am a little sad that I won't see people as much, I was making friends that way, especially with the Dolphins (the support staff).  In celebration of finishing this phase of the move, Wendy my principal, threw a small gathering at her house.  It was nice to socialize together outside of school and the director, office staff, and dolphins came as well.  My lack of spanish is beginning to annoy me.  Speaking with anyone who doesn't speak english takes a long time and they are mostly frustrated with me.  I really must find a tutor.

I am pretty sure that I will be buying a car here in a few weeks.  It's a two door 2002 Yaris.  And.... it's a manual.  So I will have to learn to drive it.  But, it will be a good story later.