It's Panama....

Yet again, the inevitable excuse.... "It's Panama"  It is used to explain away all matter of sins here.  Incompetence, laziness, unfaithfulness.... all of it.  I have decided in the spirit of Panama I am going to start saying "I'm a blond" every time I do or say something stupid.  And then that way I never have to explain myself.  Or maybe every time I do something wrong here I'll say "I'm a gringa" and see if people just let me get away with it.  Well, whatever, I guess it's just Panama.

This weekend was very stressful, filled with hours of swimming in the ocean and laying on the beach.  I'm not sure how I can make it here, it's a hard life.  Even if every other aspect of this place is a bust at least I am getting a tan.... right?

Really, though, this is a good place for me to be.  I was so sure of who I was back home, I thought I knew but I got here and realized that even if I did know who I was I wasn't 100 percent sure.  I am letting people who don't know themselves and who don't care to know themselves pull me into an interesting place.  It's like their uncertainty is making me uncertain.  It's a good test.  Can I be myself here?  Can I live my life despite the scrambling of others?

We'll see.......

On an unrelated note:  This time, one week from now, I will be back on the "mainland" and loving every minute of it.  :)