Roots

With only five days until I leave for Panama, the gravity of the situation has begun to hit me.  Leaving Asheville and having to say goodbye to some of the people that I have loved the most is the hardest thing I've ever done.  Everything feels so final even though I know it's not.  A friend of mine, who I don't see very often but love just the same sent me some encouraging words that I wanted to share.

Just wanted to let you know.

I don't know what it's like to move out of the country.
BUT, I do know what it's like to get comfortable, be happy & love where you are only to move on to the next step.

I think we are alike in that way - always wanting to do more, but finding we create new roots wherever we go. Roots are hard to pull up, no matter how shallow or deep. 

All my best & love & happy thoughts - I'm proud of you.

I've been needing to hear that.   So guys, sorry to say, you are my roots and you won't be coming up anytime soon.  Get used to it.

Changes

I am struggling with leaving. I have come to a point with myself where I love my life. I have fantastic friends and I have fun and I love and I live; so why did I decide to move thousands of miles away? I know it is something I must do or I will regret it. I know that it will be one of the greatest adventures I can take. I know it will enrich my life and make me better. I am just afraid of losing the people I love. Things will never be as they are again; it's a hard reality to accept. My group of friends will change, most of them will not be in Asheville when I return, I will not have a job to come back to, the person I have loved will move on and away from me, I may fail, I may succeed, I may lose myself, I may never find someone to love again, I will change. Things will change. Everyone will change.

I am scared.

Leaving on a jet plane....

I finally have my ticket to Panama. They emailed details to me a week ago. I fly out of Greensboro on July 27th. SO.... less than a month. It's getting stressful dealing with all of the issues. Mainly, getting my visa. Oh, and the whole packing up my life thing and saying goodbye. That's pretty hard too.

Flying High

So it's official.  I have my plane ticket.  I'm out of here on the 27th of July; only a short month away.  It's been a hectic week up to this point trying to get the ticket ordeal worked out.  Let me just say this:  Central American sense of urgency is NOTHING like ours.  Maybe it will be good for me to learn to be a bit more laid back.

The Bureaucracy of Paperwork

I cannot begin to describe the process in which I must request EVERYTHING in the world in writing. I have all sorts of things I need to obtain my work visa. I have been at work on this for two months. The teaching licensure place told me to wait until the end of the year and then I could get it and now they say it will take weeks. The police have sent me to every possible building in Asheville in search of a copy of my NC police record..... They have also directed me to non-existent websites in search of a "form" to submit. Appalachian, though stating otherwise, has taken over a month to send my official transcript. It's all just nonsense and utterly frustrating. So the only headway I made on my overwhelming "to-do" list today was to reserve a u-haul and change my address with the school system. Lame. Bureaucracy.

People are strange when you're a stranger....

Today feels like the first day in a very long journey. I have been spending the day moving out of my classroom here in Asheville and preparing to move out of the city permanently in just a few days. Just in the past six months have I begun to feel like Asheville is home. I have fantastic friends, a lovely home, and a good job and here I am leaving it all to go to a place I've never even visited, a place where I will have no friends, a place where I won't even speak the language very well. Most days I know I can do this. Some days, like today, I am not convinced.

However, I know this is the opportunity of a lifetime. This will be one of the most exciting things I ever do and, in the long run, it will make me a better teacher, friend, and person.

Stay tuned. Let's just see how it all goes.